what's the plan?

This is one hell of a lengthy post of my ramblings. Skip it for now and view my blog next week for a 'cakier' post if you wanna keep yourself awake. Unless you are having insomnia, which I am sure this post might help you to a certain extent. :)  

ok i shall start rambling....

at times i was quite lost. hmm i would say since i am back i was very lost. very lost. it felt as though i am stuck at the crossroad when i exited Warwick Avenue Station (the very 1st street in London that i stepped foot on other than Heathrow Airport) without my handy smartphone and its GPS :(

Though i always wanted an adventure (or many adventures) in life but not like this. i dislike the feeling of uncertainty and insecurity. Feeling helpless is one thing i hated most. i am sure no one likes it either.

I always believed that the real adventure begins when i am back. The projects, ideas and happiness. Where did all of these go? Where is the passion? Where is the drive, motivation? Where? Where? Where?

It had been exactly 3 months since I am back. I had been baking non-stop ever since. Trying to find myself, find my dreams, find the passion that was firing my guts to pack up and leave for LCB. 

Looking back, I can't continue baking and experimenting. Let's face it. Can one survive without $$$? Impossible to a certain extent. Not for me definitely. Reality is knocking at my door at the moment. Like really really hard and the non-stop ringing of my doorbell will drive me crazy soon if i were to keep my door shut. sigh....

However, I am not complaining about the baking and experiments that i did during the past months as I had learnt a lot. There are so many things to take note of. 

1. I have to source for the right ingredients, packaging and baking tools. 

2. I have to try out ingredients that are of different brand. 

3. I have to try recipes with substituted ingredients. 

4. I have to amend recipes due to the smaller scale oven that I am using as well as catering to the the humid weather and the taste of Singaporeans. 

hmm if you think that's all, NAHHHH you are wrong. there are so much more but i am afraid i would bore you even more if i were to continue this neverending list. 

Also, i am thankful for my life at the moment. At least i am blessed with a home to live in, my mom who cooks meals for me, my dad who sponsors my recent trips and my many supportive friends who order cakes from me. Else, I would be roaming the streets eating leftovers and begging for $$$. EEEEKS!!! what a nightmare it will be! :(

Hence, i need to pull myself together and stop procrastinating. I have decided to stop roaming around the crossroad and walk towards the sign that says : BUSINESS VENTURE. Speaking without meaning it is something easy to do but speaking and meaning it is really tough. 

The first thing in mind will be CAPITAL. then PRODUCT. then NAME (which i am seriously have a hard time coming up with one. I need help!!!). then BUSINESS PLAN.

1. CAPITAL: I am currently living off my savings :( so coming up with the capital might be a slight problem for me. However, I can try to psycho interested parties to join forces with me. keke..

2. PRODUCT: from the 3 months of baking, I had a few products in mind. Though i had been wanting to create something exotic, unique, special and...basically something French with a twist in the combination of flavours. However, for practicality sake and cost effectiveness, I'd stick to baking Chocolate Cake (Sabrina inspired), Fruity cream cake, Mango Cassis Mousse and maybe Cheesecake. That's the cake section. Pastry will be Frangipane Tarts, Tea Cake, Lemon Cake, Brownies and Choux Pastry. Though I seriously have soooooo many other ideas in mind :( sometimes you just have to know where the boundary is and not to step over it. Also, i am intending to do customize cakes as well. Pretty little cupcakes with fondant icing and sugar cookies!!! Thinking about them just make me so happy. keke..one down side, there seems to be so much that i wanna do but there is just one me. Oh and one really upsetting issue that i am having. I cant seem to find the right recipe for buttercream to pipe on top of my cupcakes!!! HELP!!! i had tried numerous recipes and they are all super sweet and are not firm enough to pipe due to the weather.

3. NAME: many names that my friends and I had come up with are all taken :( i am still having a headache thinking of a name. sigh...

4. BUSINESS PLAN: Tentatively nothing much done at the moment. So much to do for that. Costing, pricing, sourcing of packaging, delivery, time plan, kitchen, shop, etc

Seriously, it is kinda too much for me alone to handle. All i can do is persevere. Give me strength and direction Lord.

In a mean time, I will be off to Tioman for my diving course. This is paid for using my miserable savings. Hope i will be able to get my license with no hiccups. i am really really afraid. Just to clarify, I had decided to go for a diving license because almost all my family members has it (family pressure =x ), also, the diving fee rate will increase by almost SGD100 and lastly, I will have companions for this trip (it is not easy to find people who wanna get a diving license especially taking into consideration of the busy schedules everyone has).

All righty, just to let out the stress a little, not having a job doesn't mean i am bumming around. I am really busy working my ass off as well. If only everyone understand this fact and stop poking around saying i am slacking and doing nothing all day long. Though I can say my time is very flexible now as I am considered as a freelance worker :)

gonna end this post and head to church soon. 

xx